I AM KLIPHF SPURKLOT
"Live Each Day
Like You're About
TO Throw Up" -Kliph
OLDEN NEWS:
This is where stuff is about Klibf, but is not new stuff is old.
Were is Whales?
DATELINE - Today- Klippf Scuurock is LOST in WALES IKEA. That is Like WHOLE Epcot CENTER AT ONCE. He cannot get out and he cannot see hope just Hermes Beds and Jorviik fork covers and things that makes no sense to him. HE IS DRUMMER, NOT HOUSEWEAR MAN!!! FREE KLIPF NOW YOU JERK STORE!! Kliff stopped in Store to get 10 fags AND NOW LOOK.
Mr. SPURKLOT asks that his FANS onot give up with him. I WILL DRUM agian! i AM Write Hole Drum Opera called POUND, which tells story of Humane Society where the animals are Liberal People and the management are Evil Ferrets and a Hamster named Grimm. "It appeals to everyone in IKEA I AM PLAYING IT FOR said LKIPHF. Now Help. "MY BJORK BJORN VERSTAG IS GWWYFFYD IN MY PLYYNYMEADE!"
Klipfh Plyys nee' Wales Cymrberline Poewys
Klipfh is so good at drums that womens often complain there bras fall right off at them shows he play.
"Them just popped right off and them just popped right out!," said Gwynnnyennneenfernneedoeewsdn Jones, "I says 'Well I guess it must be business time then!"
The whole pub laughted.
Klipshf Spurmblcok once blew up a gazebo in Portmarion becuase he hit a particularly high drum beat note and it 'sploeded. He was qouted as saying 'Oops"
MORE KLIPHF NEWS SOON!@
KLPIFH BODY DOUBLE CONFUSING FOR ASSASSINS
Klipfht is so famous that anone .llooking to love on Jodie Foster try to shoot him!
So Klphe not get angry, he get clever.
Klipsh commissioned small Welsh Artist Daffyd Gryfyndoor to make black and white body double to ssassinate insteda of shoot Klphf
"Hopefuly, when they shoot Klompfh (his affectioninate nickname for his double), "Klilph, me, have time to run away!"
Klipshw has regular routine workot of eats mac and cheese smokes cigarette and walks to store for more.
EVERY PICTURE OF KPLIPH IS ON THE DRUMS -- EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
Sometimeds Klph does things that are not on the drums, but there are no photogrpahers there. So all the time, in pictures, Kliphf is on the drums.
People don't know Klipfh probably think that he is sleeping with drums, but that is only partially true.
"I do not sleep with the bass drum", says Klipsfh, "One time I did and somebody hit the pedal in the night going pee and ther is still ringing in my ears i was inside it.
I axed Kpfh what his drums would look like if they were are a woman and he said
"Jake Gyllenhall's hot sister"
HAPPY BITHDAY OF KIPH SPURCOC!
EXCLUSIVE BIRFSDAY INTERVEEW!
HPAAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU OUR FAVORITE BANGER ON DRUMS!!!
Everybody love Klpmh Scurtlock, no more person than me! I have interview with Klph Exclusive Content!
Young Once
I catch up with Kliph an his band he drum on, The Super Fuzzy Huxtables, in Whales! Whales is a place in Cardiff with peeples who love to sing, drink cider, and fight with other singing cider drunk pepole and rain falls like beats off Klimps drumage.
I axed some things of Kliip, and he was so happy to see me. He smiled. His dreamy smile it ddrops my stomach oth my feet.
ME: Hi I like You Kilmpf.
KILPHS: Thanks I like you and too.
ME: It falls your birfday, how old are you this day?
KLIMP" I am about fifty, but many people who are drunk think I am younger to make them feel better about themselves like younger too.
ME: For a long time you. Drummed for a band that was called Flaming Lips. Did you get blisters on your lips?
KLAIPH: Not once.
ME: If you had to fight for survival one other drummer, who is it and what your weapon be.
KIPH: I would fight Phil Collins bcause he is only drummer of my caliber and Genisis is betst band except me. And drumsticks of course.
AT THIS POINT IN TEH INTERVIEW WE LAUGH 4 A LONG TIME
ME: Who is bets interview you had?
KLIPH: It was you all along. This interview got to the heart of me.
I LOVE YOU KPEIMP!~! HAPPY BIRIFDAY!!
KLIPTF SPOTTED IN LAWRENCE KANSAS
BEING FAMOUS FOR DRUMSTUFF
Where is Lawwrence KS? It is where Kliph has been spotted by PAPARAZZI outside of a beerbar named Bottlesneck where everyone is old but has haircuts like they are still young.
Kliphmph Scurtlock is totally all over that shit.
What does famous drummers does when they are not in Wales drumming for Welsh bands who can't find so good drummers in Wales because it's small and cold and the ryhtym people work in the mines? He goes to AIR GUITAR.
There is a man named Melin who makes AIR GUITAR happen. AIR GUITAR is like GUITAR but fake. A lot of pepole do it together in a bar. Like karoke, but you don't have to listen to the asholes sing. KLIPH maybe was AIR GUITAR? No one would answer my asks about thqat.
This is what someone looks like when they play air guitar his name is Mean Melin but we don't think that's his realy name.
Ladies love him.
Mens want to be him.
WALES IS NOT LIKE IN KANSAS!!
OOHHH NOOO Klip Sporluck Trapped In Walesish IKEA!!!!!!
He doesn't know where he is or what a lingonberry is or why everyone gives him meatsball!s
Kliff, showed here in IKEA looking confused at why is being in IKEA in Wales is confsud and JUWT SWANTS OUTS!!!!
(KLIKPH SHIRT SAYS "CYMRU" WHICH IS in WALES LASNGUE MEANS "HELP!!"
Haters gonna Hate
Klipfs gonna Kliffph!!!!
Klipth Vy Activ in Whles Poltics in Wahles!
Many pppl know Klipf is best drummer since God made the United States but he also is care about everybodies. Klipf now lives in Wales, which is kind of by Ireland and Scotchland, near Yurp.
There is lots of intense politics happening in Wales, and Kliff is never one to sit down when there is standing up to do (except drumming because he is the best at drumming and you have to sit while drumming or you will drop your sticks stupid.
There is two parites in Whales, the Tardies and Labur. Labru wants ALL OF US TO HAVE FREE STUFF BUT 80% TAXES. and Tardies want TOTAL DEREGGALATION. Kliph is like "I want everyobdy to be ahppy like drums are playing in every house in Whales you guys. It is very heated up over there. Careful travel to Wales. OUCH MIGHT BURN
Site Title
When Whelsh people fight it is bitter and too the deaf. Klipfh wants less githing and more pepole to be in love with each other and music. He thinks that Weslh pepole should not follow the esample of America nad elect an mean organge dick tater. Klipf says "just get along or I will go somewhere else. Like Pole Land. There are drums all over!